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It's just such a massive complication to what would otherwise be a nice, simple, boring life. I suppose it brings a bit of interest and excitement, but not of the sort I'd really like.It's hard, knowing you'll never be normal. Never be happy. I'm going to live my entire life inside this cage, and I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it at all.***I don't go out Friday night (where would I go?), so I stay in and watch the television. After about an hour I switch it off in anger; I can't stop feeling jealous towards the women on TV.***I wake up Saturday morning feeling a little better. I check the cuts on my right arm (on the upper arm, from Thursday - I'd cut high up to avoid detection - and on the forearm, from last night - stupid, deep cuts) realising belatedly that last night was not a good idea if I want to keep everyone in the dark about my cutting. I slip on my dressing gown and go to the bathroom to wash the cuts. I vaguely hear the phone ringing.It turns out it's for. And, I've played two games with you which gives me some clue about your game. On top of that, I have the time and the willingness to do it. So ... what do you say?" Are you sure about this, Terry?" Damn sure. What time should I pick you up tomorrow?" Uhhm ... eight o'clock I guess. My tee time is ten-oh-eight. I want to spend a few minutes on the practice tee." Great ... this is really going to be interesting. I'm looking forward to it." Are you really sure about this?" she asked again."For Pete's sake, Catherine, I said I would and I meant it," I said, feigning irritation."Okay, okay, I get it. You're hired," she laughed."Good, that's settled then. I'm going to be a big help, I promise." I'm sure you will be. I'll see you in the morning. Thank you, Terry. I really appreciate it. Bye." Bye. Get some rest. Take care."I hung up with a very good feeling about tomorrow. I was looking forward to my first caddying experience and it would be with Catherine, someone I genuinely liked being.
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